he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
