Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
