Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
