Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
