Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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