he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
