do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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