I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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