I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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