I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
