Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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