Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I think a kid would responsible me up
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
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