So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
