I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
