I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
