Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I wish i was in the wii world.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
