Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
