So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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