No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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