But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
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