I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
