I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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