Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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