Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
