I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
