Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
