Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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