God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
