WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
