I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
we made out on top of his cat.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
