In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
