its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
