Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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