Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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