never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
