Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize