why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
