yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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