Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
