Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
