so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
It's never too late to be topless.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Randomize
