Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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