i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Randomize
