I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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