are you so shy because you have an std?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
