the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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