and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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