Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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