I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
