If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
