well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
