we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize