i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
