I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
