piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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