According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
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