Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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