Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
